Perfect People

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Limburg K, Watson H, Hagger M, Egan S. The relationship between perfectionism and psychopathology: A meta-analysis. J Clin Psychol. 2017;73(10):1301-1326. doi:10.1002/jclp.22435 A very intriguing tale of lives. The most important thing to me is there isn't one bit of filler in this series, every minute and moment adds something interesting. Each character has their story, their secrets and their vices. As the show progresses and unfolds, the more info is divulged and unraveled, a surreal turn of events makes itself known. This was a plot driven book and although the premise has been previously explored by the late Michael Crichton, Mr James' spin was different enough to have made this utterly gripping. Perfection is overrated, boring. It’s the imperfections-the vulnerabilities, the weaknesses, the human elements-that make us who we are, that make us real, beautiful…necessary. ― Guy Harrison I don’t think perfect is interesting. I think what makes life exciting is the imperfections. ― Mary Frann

Perfectionism is the enemy of creation, as extreme self-solitude is the enemy of well-being. ― John Updike James sets the lead male character, Dr Klaesson, as an academic scientist leading a research group who model human evolution. Much of the 'science' (factual or fictional) is then explained to the reader through conversations between Dr Klaesson and his wife. This was an interesting strategy and as a result the science didn't break the flow of the story, or feel out of place. The author has created a story that is extremely thought provoking. Scientists have come so far and designer babies is something that is probably very possible if not already. I certainly don't agree with people playing god and dictating what a human being is going to be like but the thought of also putting a stop to illnesses that leave devastation in its trail is a very positive part of it.

Everything, if you could only see it clearly enough, like this, is beautiful and complete. Everything has its own perfection. ― Joan Lindsay The trouble is that, for perfectionists, performance is intertwined with their sense of self. When they don’t succeed, they don’t just feel disappointment about how they did. They feel shame about who they are. Ironically, perfectionism then becomes a defence tactic to keep shame at bay: if you’re perfect, you never fail, and if you never fail, there’s no shame. Badri S, Kong M, Yunus W, Nordin NA, Yap W. Trait emotional intelligence and happiness of young adults: The mediating role of perfectionism. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021;18(20):10800. doi:10.3390/ijerph182010800 After all, many of us live in societies where the first question when you meet someone is what you do for a living. Where we are so literally valued for the quality and extent of our accomplishments that those achievements often correlate, directly, to our ability to pay rent or put food on the table. Where complete strangers weigh these on-paper values to determine everything from whether we can rent that flat or buy that car or receive that loan. Where we then signal our access to those resources with our appearance – these shoes, that physique – and other people weigh that, in turn, to see if we’re the right person for a job interview or dinner invitation.

Kurtovic A, Vrdoljak G, Idzanović A. Predicting procrastination: The role of academic achievement, self-efficacy and perfectionism. Int J Educ Psychol. 2019;8(1):1-26. doi:10.17583/ijep.2019.2993 You can find ways to like certain people. The right types of people with whom you can feel comfortable. Take a look at the online therapy service from BetterHelp.com – you’ll be able to talk to a trained and experienced therapist from the comfort of your own home at a time that suits you. Here’s that link again if you’d like more information on this process. Being perfect is overrated; Being better is what counts, especially if you do that everyday! ― Unknown The book is as usual a good example of how skilled Peter James is as a writer and within the first few chapters I was completely absorbed. The two main characters were a couple; John and Naomi, and all they want is a child that will not be born with the same disease their last little boy had died from. Having lost their little boy, this normal couple decide to put their faith into the hands of geneticist Dr Leo Dettore. Right from the beginning I couldn't stand Dr Dettore but as the story progresses and you see the couple follow the procedures to choose what they do and don't want their future child to have, you can understand with how badly they want this. I could even understand how they put Dr Dettore's scientific brilliance before his less than appealing personality.But in reality, this will take some serious self-reflection on your part and, most probably, help from a certified mental health professional. I’ve experimented with some of that letting go myself. It’s gone hand-in-hand with becoming aware when I’m taking on too much and exhausting myself in my attempt to do ‘enough’ (an amount, I’ve realised, that for me doesn’t actually exist). I know who I am. I am not perfect. I’m not the most beautiful woman in the world. But I’m one of them. ― Mary J. Blige Mental health problems aren’t just caused by perfectionism; some of these problems can lead to perfectionism, too. One recent study, for example, found that over a one-year period, college students who had social anxiety were more likely to become perfectionists – but not vice versa.

I liked the Sussex and Brighton locations (places I've lived for years) and it's interesting seeing the Royal Sussex County Hospital show up (somewhere I've worked). That's not enough to make a good book though. Plus, as a doctor, some of the medical info in this is highly suspect. The c-section scene without anaesthesia was laughable. Peter James' new novel, 'Perfect People', follows the Klaessons as they turn to Dr Dettore with the hope of having a child who does not inherit a rare recessive mutation they both carry. The mutation causes a fatal syndrome, one that killed their naturally conceived first-born.The sub-plot involving a religious assassin is initially interesting and though we don't get much characterisation, he's cold and relentless and a distraction. Until he gets to our family, when for no apparent reason he loses his cool completely, forgets how to shoot and stumbles all over the place before effectively getting killed. It seems like a completely different character. The concept would probably have been better handled and expanded by a sci-fi author. We're not given much to think about in terms of nature/nurture, the ethics of genetically altering your children or the social difficulties, other than it's probably not a good idea. That's a shame. One other element of this story is the crime/terrorism group that crops up fairly early into the story, This was a needless waste of time in my opinion and was purely there to add drama, because all the major events of the book could still have been met without including chaotic, sometimes a bit ridiculous, plots and sub-plots. I definitely think this could have been cut, so this is the major reason why this book isn't getting a higher rating despite just how much I really enjoyed it.

More often than I’d like to admit, something seemingly inconsequential will cause the same feeling to rear its head again. Something as small as accidentally squashing the panettone I was bringing my boyfriend’s family for Christmas can tumble around in my mind for several days, accompanied by occasional voices like “How stupid!” and “You should have known better”. Falling short of a bigger goal, even when I know achieving it would be near-impossible, can temporarily flatten me. When an agent told me that she knew I was going to write a book someday but that the particular idea I’d pitched her didn’t suit the market, I felt deflated in a gut-punching way that went beyond disappointment. The negative drowned out the positive. “You’re never going to write a book,” my internal voice said. “You’re not good enough.” That voice didn’t care that this directly contradicted what the agent actually said.

Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you find ways to like people more and build meaningful relationships. You may want to try speaking to one via BetterHelp.com for quality care at its most convenient. 1. The experiences you have had with people so far in life have tarnished your world view. The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form. ― Stanley J. Randall P Sederlund A, R Burns L, Rogers W. Multidimensional models of perfectionism and procrastination: Seeking determinants of both. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2020;17(14):5099. doi:10.3390/ijerph17145099 It’s a work in progress. But what I’ve noticed is that, each time I’m able to replace criticising and perfecting with compassion, I feel not only less stressed, but freer. Apparently, that’s not unusual. When it comes to the most dramatic example, suicide, numerous studies also have found that perfectionism is a lethal contributor all on its own. One found that perfectionism made depressed patients more likely to think about suicide even above and beyond feelings of hopelessness. A recent meta-analysis, the most complete on the suicide-perfectionism link to date, found that nearly every perfectionistic tendency – including being concerned over mistakes, feeling like you are never good enough, having critical parents, or simply having high personal standards – was correlated with thinking about suicide more frequently. (The two exceptions: being organised or demanding of others).